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Earth: Mostly Harmless
Whatever your tastes, Magrathea can cater for you. We are not proud.
But Mr. Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine months.
there’s an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they’ve worked out.
Will you open up the exit hatch, please, computer?
According to the legends, the Magratheans lived most of their lives underground.
Magrathea itself disappeared and its memory soon passed into the obscurity of legend. In these enlightened days, of course, no one believes a word of it.
Evolution? they said to themselves, Who needs it?
Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again.
Parts of the inside of her head screamed at other parts of the inside of her head.
if you’ve never been through a matter transference beam before you’ve probably lost some salt and protein. The beer you had should have cushioned your system a bit.
I've just had an unhappy love affair, so I don't see why anybody else should have a good time.
It’s only half completed, I’m afraid – we haven’t even finished burying the artificial dinosaur skeletons in the crust yet.
They’ve got as much sex appeal as a road accident.
...they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.
If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.
If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.
In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
On the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.
It seemed to me that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
He was staring at the instruments with the air of one who is trying to convert Fahrenheit to centigrade in his head while his house is burning down.