Random Quote Most Interesting Man In The World

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• His only regret is not knowing what regret feels like.
• When in Rome, they do as HE does
• He is considered a national treasure in countries he’s never visited.
• He has won the lifetime achievement award… twice
• He can kill two stones with one bird
• When a tree falls in a forest and no one is there, he hears it
• His lovemaking has been detected by a seismograph
• He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels
• He is fluent in all languages, including three that he only speaks
• If opportunity knocks, and he’s not at home, opportunity waits
• Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect
• He has taught old dogs a variety of new tricks
• In museums, he is allowed to touch the art
• His business card simply says ‘I’ll Call You”
• If he was to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume.
• Freemasons strive to learn HIS secret handshake.
• He played a game of Russian Roulette with a fully loaded magnum, and won
• He is the life of parties that he has never attended
• He once won the Tour-de-France, but was disqualified for riding a unicycle
• His organ donation card also lists his beard
• He is left-handed. And right-handed
• Sharks have a week dedicated to him
• Presidents take his birthday off
• Time waits on no one, but him
• He never wears a watch because time is always on his side
• He taught Chuck Norris martial arts
• When he holds a lady’s purse, he looks manly
• He once won a staring contest with his own reflection
• When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring
• His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body
• Superman has pijamas with his logo
• If he were to punch you in the face you would have to fight off a strong urge to thank him
• He once went to the psychic, to warn her
• His feet don’t get blisters, but his shoes do
• When he drives a car off the lot, its price increases in value
• On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
• Once a rattlesnake bit him, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died
• His passport requires no photograph
• He gave his father “the talk”
• He can speak Russian… in French
• His signature won a Pulitzer
• Once while sailing around the world, he discovered a short cut
• He once got pulled over for speeding, and the cop got the ticket
• The dark is afraid of him
• If he were to visit the dark side of the moon, it wouldn’t be dark
• He once brought a knife to a gunfight… just to even the odds
• He bowls overhand
• A bird in his hand is worth three in the bush
• He once started a fire using only dental floss and water
• Roses stop to smell him
• Bigfoot tries to get pictures of him
• He once turned a vampire into a vegetarian
• Batman watches Saturday morning cartoons about him
• When he was young he once sent his parents to his room
• His blood smells like cologne
• When he goes to Spain, he chases the bulls
• His shadow has been on the ‘best dressed’ list twice
• Two countries went to war to dispute HIS nationality
• His pillow is cool on BOTH sides
• The Nobel Academy was awarded a prize from HIM
• His mother has a tattoo that says “Son”
• His shirts never wrinkle
• Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores
• His garden maze is responsible for more missing persons than the bermuda triangle
• He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders
• His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him
• The police often question him, just because they find him interesting
• He has never walked into a spider web
• The star on his Christmas tree is tracked by NASA
• He’s never lost a game of chance
• He once caught the Loch Ness Monster….with a cane pole, but threw it back
• His wallet is woven out of chupacabra leather
• Cars look both ways for him, before driving down a street
• His 5 de Mayo party starts on the 8th of March
• His tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries
• His friends call him by his name, his enemies don’t call him anything because they are all dead
• No less than 25 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard
• He once taught a german shepherd how to bark in Spanish
• The Holy Grail is looking for him
• Werewolves are jealous of his beard
• Once he ran a marathon because it was “on the way”
• He was on a recent archaeological dig and came across prehistoric foot prints that lead out of Africa into all parts of the world. On close inspection, it turned out that the prints were his
• Whatever side of the tracks he’s currently on is the right side, even if he crosses the tracks he’ll still be on the right side
• The circus ran away to join him
• He once made a weeping willow laugh
• He is allowed to talk about the fight club
• His sweat is the cure for the common cold
• While swimming off the coast of Australia, he once scratched the underbelly of the Great White with his right hand
• If he were to say something costs an arm and a leg, it would
• He never says something tastes like chicken.. not even chicken
• Panhandlers give him money
• He once tried to acquire a cold just to see what it felt like, but it didn’t take
• His ten gallon hat holds twenty gallons
• He once won the world series of poker using UNO cards
• He has inside jokes with people he’s never met.
• Bear hugs are what he gives bears
• Even his tree houses have fully finished basements
• He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a meal before returning to the pool
• He lives vicariously through himself